okay, time for a new start

right, haven't written in ages..basically, im starting over with this, gonna try and write laods more often so i have like a diary of what i've done.
in nineteen days i go to reading festival, i can't wait! however in eighteen days, i get my gcse results, that, im nervous about.
college should be good, i can't wait to start.
hmm, well this summer was meant to be the best time of my life..but that didn't really happen. 12 weeks. thought it'd be great! but no..well, tbh it's been alright..
but not what i expected!
i went to spain with my bestfriend, and her and her sister came down for my birthday. which was also good, but other then that i haven't really done alot, recently i've been trying to see loads of my friends so that i can say i actually did stuff over the summer. ahh well, imma try and get it to be better. I was meant to be camping tomorow but it's been rescheduled to next week...so that should be fun!
yeah well, today i was supposed to be seeing my boyfriend, but i don't know if thats gonna happen anymore :/ he thought he'd try and stay up all night, which therefore means he sleeping all of today..and not seeing me.
anyway, im gonna try and find something to do.

okay haven't been on here in agesss

honestly. i actually forgot this even existed! sounds terrible i know.
okay well basically.
sitting my gcse's still.
i've only got one more which im doing tomorow which is RS which i m actually okay at. but then my first paper in it i think i did super bad in..which isn't good..
er.. also, me and my friend are like cramming now but im hoping i know enough..
this is the paper im better at anyway.
also it's my birthday inn.....oooh im not good at maths..13days..there we go.
i'm so excited because tabby and bethany are coming down for it! which is awesome :D
OH
and get ready to be jealous..
me and tabby and bethany and my sister are seeing MILEY CYRUS AND METRO STATION
in december.
i can not physically wait.
anyway yeah, i miss my boyfriend.. i was meant to see him today but he saw his friends instead.. :/ i think they've all gone out for a 'pissup'..which means i'll probably get a drunkien phonecall later...i may sound fed up.. but i secretley love them!
i love when he calls me..especially when he's drunnk/tipsy because he's so honest and like "i love you i love you!" and it's adorable.
anyway..best carry on the revision
aurevoir!

okay..

alright,
im not in the best moods today
i don't know why i can't decide if im happy or sad
but i just rang my boyfriend and he actually picked up and talked to me
which he never does usually
so thats cheered me up
but im still al merrrr
and it's
(N)



anddd
just to make things better,
it's just sank in how unprepared i am for my gcse exams..my french oral is in THIRTEEN DAYS and i have done NO revision and i haven't even chosen my main conversation topic..
also,
my drama performance is in SIXTEEN DAYS and i dunno my script
and i still don't feel comfortble enough in my group to act properlly..
this is becoming ridiculous.

Fall out boyyy!

Okay, so i went to see fall out boy on Sunday the 8th of March.
It was simply amazinggg!
So much stuff happened.
Firstly Tuggy came to mine and we were gonna go meet Lorna at 3.30 at the train station and at like 11am my friend texted me telling me that people were queuing (okay..i've completley forgotten how to spell) and we were like..oh well. haha.
And thennn, we met Lorna and were on the train and we got off at Brighton and decided to head straight to the Brighton Centre so we could meet Ben etc so Tuggy could get his ticket.
Ben and Jack and Sean decided to go down at like 7 in the morning so they were pretty much at the front of the queue. After we got Tuggy's ticket we decided it was to cold to wait for like 3 hours so we hung around mac donalds and churchill square and then at around 10 to 5 we got a phonecall from Ben saying the barriers were going up. So, we hurried it down to the centre and cut the queue (ahaha) by joining Ben and Jack at the front.
We got evils from SO many emo kiddies :L
Then there was lots of joking and messing around in the queue and we still had like 2 hours to wait.
Oh my god and also Tuggy and Ben managed to start a mosh pit before it had even started because Tuggy found a vodka bottle and chucked it on the floor so it smashed and everyone formed a huge circle around him and started going "ooooh" and he was like D=
and then everyone started pushing and one guy threatened to start on Ben. And then the second time Ben and Tuggy (again) had this can of strongbow and shook it up and sprayed everyone with it! and people got so pissed.
It was hilarious!
We eventually got in, and because we were at the front of the queue (=P) we managed to get to the barriers at the veery front of the stage! it was so good. And so we were at the front for Hey Monday (the first suppost group) who were way good and the men in the band were pretty hot ;) while they were playing i did a heart with my hands to the guitarist and he winked at me and kept looking at me after that aha :L
and then the worst thing happened!
while we were waiting for the switch between HM and KIGH (kids in glass houses) EVERYONE in the crowd started pushing and we litterally couldn't breath! and me, tuggy and lorna got pushed to the very back, and were seperated from all our friends, tbh, it was pretty dangerous and scary.. and then during KIGH we managed to get about half way back into the crowd..and then guess what..
suprise suprise in the switch over people were pushing AGAIN.
but we stood our ground this time ;)
even though it resulted with a bruised leg and being pushed to the ground..
but by the time fall out boy came on we were almost at the front again.
FOB were completley amazing!
I went on tuggy's shoulders at one point and the guitarist had to do a double take. it was hilairious. But then i was told to get down :L
Overall, it was probably the best gig i've been to!
AND Tuggy got TWO guitar picks.
One fall out boy one which he's kept
and i think another fall out boy one that he's giving to me ;)
it's either FOB or KIGH and i love both of them, so it's all good :D


anyways, im off school today cause im ill from the concert
because (another story) on the way back to the train station at like 11 at night my lovely boyfriend decided to pour a whole litre bottle of water over my head..i was soaked
and freezing
and now im ill
but it was so worth it
but now, cause im not at school.
i have to do RS

cya x

oh my god..it's been ages!!

Right, so it's been monthsss since i last posted a blog
mainly cause of GCSE stress and what not.
but anyway
im stressing out cause i only have like 5 weeks left of school and have to get all my coursework in! and a whole textiles project in by like next week
and it's all becoming to much for me to be quite honest..
and i have a science re-take GCSE tomorow.
ahhhhh

on the bright side..im seeing fall out boy on sunday
how good :D
and kids in glass houses
WELL GOOOOOD
oh and im going prom dress shopping onnn saturday =]
bad thing is.. i can't see my boyfriend
and i really want to
i mean yeah, im going to FOB with him..
but, :( i want to see him
and god knows what he'll be getting up too
but he doesn't like it if i tell him not to do the things he does
so i just have to sit and let him.. :/
slkjg;sdg



i can not wait for summer
when GCSE's are over
i can spend as much time as i like with my boyfriend
i can laze around in shorts and a vest top
i can be outside!
and it'll be my 16th ;)



only likeeeee 3 months?

hurry uppp
tbh, i'd rather just do my gcse's now then have to learn/revise.. :/


x

mmm..cake

So, today i made a cake :D
i met up with tuggy after school and we decided to make a cake.
and other stuff too ;)
it was way good.
the cake seriousl was so yummmmm
it started out to be an ordinary sponge cake. then we added chocolate spread ;D
and thennnnnn we baked it.
and made some icinggg
it was lushhh ;)
anyway..
Tuggy's dog - bob - officially loves me =D
he follows me 'round his house, and as soon as i opened the door he ran up to me wagging his tail!
he's adorable!
like Tuggy ;)

i also went to youth club today, it was well good, i got hyper againn
and we played singstar
me and beth lost :L (it was teams)
erm, what else..then me beth and lis just sat in the middle of the basketball hall/court thing, just talking and drinking hot choccie. and then we made stories, and that was pretty much it.
it waa a goooood night :)
..don't really know what else to put
ohhh!
apart from.. i have to get Tuggy's valentines present soon..and i have no idea what.
im thinking aftershave..maybe?
im not sure :(
x

Busy busy busy bee?

Well, i haven't written in a while..again.
My bad.
And thinking about it, i don't really know why, i reassured myself i was simply to busy to write.
but to be honest, i just couldn't be bothered to go onto my computer, or i had been out till 10 and didn't want to have to tart my computer at that time (cause it takes an age to load)
so really..
thats my excuse.
Okay, so i can't even rememebr what i last posted..ut oh well i'll sum up the last few days.
Well..today (Wednesday) was my frist day back at school this week [;
because we've had snow days!
Monday the 2nd an Tuesday the 3rd of Febuary, most schools in southern England were closed due to extreme wether conditions.
well good ;)
so yeah, amazingly i still managed to get up at like 7am anyway..well except for tuesday where i slept in till 9..but thats still an acheivment for me..
Okay, so what i did was..On the Monday, my dad braved it to work, even though it was highly recommended not to, and me, my mum and sister all decided to go out and make a snowman!
This is like the first proper snowman i have ever made and i was so chuffed with it,
it was kinda medium height, and it kinda turned out to be like..a, snow penguin.
It was really good though, i might load a picture one day :P
uhm, then later i went and met Tuggy, it took me so long to walk though cause i kept slipping over ;D
and erm..oh, then we made a snowman!
only this one was huuuuuuge! no joke, it was a giant.
and fat!
we both made little snow balls and then rolled them around my drive..when we used most of that snow, they were pretty big, but we wanted them bigger (;]) and so we went into the street..and rolled them around more, then we just about managed to pick them up and cross the road and roll the around more, and by the end of it they were both so heavy, the both of us couldn't lift them, and we could hardly roll them or move them at all.
So, to get them back to my drive we had to roll the in the slush on the roads..then a car came.. and we were like "ahh! can't leave the snow ball!" so we tried with all our might to roll it as fast as we could to the otherside (and trust me..it wasn't fast) but we managed it, and we made a huge snowman!
We named him Chug - chug =]
he's cute =]
Then on Tuesday, i sw tuggy again, but we just stayed in at his house messing around watching movies, making pancakes, the usual really.
Er...today..well, it was school, so not exactly what i'd call fun!
but it wasn't too bad i guess..
it was so slippy on the way to school! everything was ice!
but once we were at school it wasn't too bad, i had a ski trip meeting,
it's only 9 days now.
Basically, we just were told to bring in final little details like EHIC cards.
and arrange rooms etc.
it was good!
me and Louise managed to nab a 2 room ;)
we're so excited now!!
apart from..im really going to miss tuggy :(
like proper bad..i've been seeing him like eeryday for the last month..
=/
and im away for valentines day..
i think im gonn end up ringing him everyday..
hmm..
i love him :D
anyway,
what else happened..
i saw tuggy again, and we moved his room around!
it took so much effort and time, but it looks way good now, like, more mature..which is good :) and it looks bigger ;)

guess thats about it.
my weekend was good, saw tuggy for all of it
big suprise there :P
Oh!
and that post i did about a certain somebody smoking.
I think i may have sorta..changed his mind..
well. not changed his mind as such, but like struck a deal with him..
i said he shouldn't do any
and stuff and he was like one a year?
and i was like i guess thats better then like 10 a day
all though, i'd still prefer if he did none..
he doesn't even really have a reason for it..
it's silly, he knows it's upsetting to other people,
im not the only person who doesn't want him too..
but, i've tried..
and tbh i'd rather not bring it up with him because that'll remind him of them and he might have some..
it's just when im on the ski trip im most worried
'cause i won't be here to like 'keep an eye on him' or like look out for him or simply tell him not to..
and whats worse is..there's meant to be a party while im away, where i bet he'll do one :(
and he's going to a gig with like all his friends who also smoke!
so he'll probably have at least one then..
:/
i don't wanna sound untrusting..but like, i bet he won't be able to help it.
i don't think he realises how much it hurts to see someone doing that to themselves..
im just gonna have to trust him i guess.

anyway, im going
must see why tuggster still isn't online
;P
x

sorted

I had my college interveiw with Haywards heath yesterday (:
it was well good
i got in,
but to do the courses i wanna do i hve to get 5 B's..im hoping it won't be to difficult.. :/
I finally managed to do my drama coursework yesterday..i had to re-do some of it again at like midnight when i was really tired and couldn't be arsed anymore because my crappy laptop turned itself of and i hadn't saved it..but meh, it's done now.
hmm..i have some gossip i suppose..
i dunno what to make of it but, here goes.
Well, one of my friends made a big mistake at this party we went to, and he felt really bad about it and was worried his girlfriend would dump him..and i felt sorry for him and was comforting him, and then i found out that him and his girlfriend decided to go on a break, which i thought was probably needed but they'd probably get back together because if she was gonna chuck him she would have, and then i found out that yesterday when he was still meant to be with his girlfriend he was also 'seeing' this other girl, and they were all over eachother, then that night he dumped his girlfriend..i dunno what to make of the situation..i guess it's for the best he didn't string her along but still..he's a confusing person, i just hope his new girlfriend doesn't change him to much because she's into drugs etc, like serious drugs, and gets high like every week! and i don't want my friend getting into that sort of thing..he just can't..
Hmm what else..Im quite annoyed, i'm going on the school ski trip in the febuary half term, and im glad im going! it's gonna be great except it had to be then..of all times,
everything seems to be happening then..
for starters we leave the day after my boyfriends birthday, we go on friday the 13th!
We're away for valentines day.
and Sean is throwing another party,
and i really wanna go
and i don't want tuggy to do anything stupid while he's there :(
i don't think he would. cause i trust him and stuff but like..Jack did last time..so what if Tuggy does this time.. :/
hmmmm
anywayyyyyyyyy
x

Question time :/

Okay, so how do you stop somebody from smoking?
He hadn't done it for like half a year, and then at the weekend he decided to have one cause it was a party..he didn't even hve much of it
But now he's saying he's craving them again and he wants to smoke again.
I've told him everything bad i can think of about smoking.
But he won't listen :/
I don't want him to
but
shfsakghas;lg
stupid boy if he does..



Drama course work is really getting me down and im in sucha bad mood now..
i have to do 11 pages by thursday..
and i just can't be fucked now..
this is so outrageous i can't believe it.
can't school just be over and im at college..
please?


haywards heath interveiw tomorow
thats about the only good thing i can say today (y)
x

Amazing weekend (y)

Okay, so my weekend was really great and exhausting, which is sorta why i didn't write.
It was so good though!
Saturday
I went to tuggy's at like 10.30, which is pretty early for me. And just like relaxed and layed in bed together, watching movies.
We watched the first half of sin city, it was utterly repulsive!
it made me feel physically sick.
There's this cannibl guy in it, and urgh, the thought of it makes me shudder.
Okay, stop thinking about it nowww!
And then, we were gonna go to m friends party in the evening.
So we were like "alright, we'll get ready at like 6?"
then it came to about..20 to 7 and we were supposed to of left and we were only just getting ready :L
it took him ages to do his hair.
and it took me ages to choose my outfit.
as it does most girls ;)
uhm..yeah then we got dropped of outside iceland, and we couldn't find Sean's house..
and we were like "hmm.." so i rang him, and he had to come and meet us and walk us to his :L
the party was amazing though! the best one i'd been too!
We got there and most people were already wasted, and i got to see my friend Becky again, who i'm just starting to be friends with again, because we hadn't seen eachother in so long.
It was awesome.
I don't remember too much that happened.
But i'll try and write what i do..
well, for starters, Sean has this room which if you go in it and shut the door you can't get out an someone on the other side has to let you out.
and me and tuggy got pushed in there and were trapped and like 10 mins later Dom finally opened the door and was like "ooh lovebirds" and pushed us in..again!
haha.
and, i made a new friend, called Gina, she seems lovely! she was completley out of it though i had to take her to the loo :L
also, there were a few arguments but luckily i wasn't involved..i remember going into seans bedroom where Becky and Chris were and i fell over into tuggy and we fell into the wall and ripped all the posters off seans wall!
it wasn't good :L
and, i almost cried twice..:(
all because, the first time, tuggy collapsed and his heart hurt and he couldnt breathe and then i was almost crying thinking he was gonna die.. :/
and the second time was because ben was like haunched over himself and becky said he was gonna die so i ran to get him water and because i hadn't been to seans before i didn't know where it was, so i went to Alex like all upset and scared like "i need water! i need it! BEN IS DYING!"
and Alex was like wtf? okay then..
uhm..i can't remember much else,
it was proper amazing though
by far the most amazing party ever
well done Sean ;D
Unfortunatley though, one of my friends cheated on his girlfriend at the party..and now they're "on a break"..:/

Sunday
Okay, so sunday..i spent the whole day with tuggy just doing what we do, i don't really have much to say, we jsut did same ol' but it was just perfect because well..it's him
and also because that meant i'd spent my entire waking hours that weekend with him!
it was amazing! and he was so like..cute! and sweet. As always.

So yeah, thats my weekend, it was amazing..best weekend of 2009 so far :D


Today..nothing really interesting..
i went to the Doctors..
i'm healthy!
i saw Tuggy!
It was amazing.

but now im really tired, and getting distracted by 90201..
as you do..
x

Okayy =]

Well, i didn't write yesterday cause i was too ehausted, it had been a really long, but good day :D
I can't actually remember that much except my drama lesson was shit (n)
we're supposed to beworking towards our dvised final peices, but the rest of my group decided to go off and sing..but luckily we made up for it today and planned pretty much our whole story line.
Uhm, i also went to Tuggy's yesterday, which was good because i hadn't been to his in a while, and he was being really sweet. We spent most of the time on his laptop, but it was fun, and we had a great time just talking and joking about. i love him :D
Oh, we also agreed that we'll go to this party tomorow night, which should be good (y)

Today, school was alright, i can't think of much to say about it..oh except, i had to do indoor football today. I usually do the gym on fridays, but Tilbs asked me to do indoor football with her as she's the only girl. And oh my god, it was so vicious! Lauren ended up in tears! all because the boys smack the ball around instead of passing and someone smacked it straight into the side of her face, she got hit like 4 times total...:/
I luckily dodged all the times the ball was headed for me.. but my team made me go in goal! and i was like what the hell? im tiny and their pelting it? you want me in goal?
freaks.
haha.
But yeah i stood there like..alright, this isn't that bad.
Then the match started.
And the other team smacked it in my direction
and i screamed
and people laughed :P
and i then i let in a goal.
and then Griff took over as goalie :L
i hit the ball once in the whole lesson, because most of the time i opted to sit out or just stood in the corner of the pitch claiming i was still playing by standing on the pitch, but keep out of harms way.
Good plan i thought ;)
Then, after school i met up with Sam and we went to hers and gossiped and i was helping her pick out and 80's style outfit for this party she's going to tomorow and i did her make up.
It was really fun actually, we got to catch up, and we hadn't done much together in agess.
Then we went to Youth, which is always fun because me and m friends get really hyper!
we played singstar..i lost..twice ;)
out of two times :L
and i danced a bit :L
and talked, and laughed, and gossiped, anddd played hide and seek,
and stuff
it was just awesome
anyway cant really be bothered to write much more tbh..
and im waiting for tuggy to come online so we can arrange tomorow so
im offfff
x

Stormy.. :/

I hate storms.
I can hear the wind howling and crashing up against my window.
Im scared :

Well, school was sorta average today, nothing particularly interesting happened.
Uhm..i saw Tuggy after school which was really good!
We went to mine and watched Advent Children - which is a Final Fantasy film, i really like it (:
and we watched Harry Potter.
It was a good night :D
i love spending time with him..
Shame he had to leave so early.. my mum said he can't stay past like 9 because she doesn't want me to fall behind in school..which im not!
but, luckily he could stay till half 9..it still went too quickly though :/
We thought we still had an hour and turns out we only had 10 mins :(
I wish he could spend the night, i'd love to fall asleep in his arms.
:D

Er.. i guess thats it really, still deciding about whether to go to this party,
i really don't know what to do.
x

One more thing..

i don't wanna jinx anything,
so *touch wood"
i hope this does nothing.
But Bob is still with us :D
the vet wouldn't put him down, which is hopefully a good thing?
and that he's well enough, and young enough to get better.
Im so happy for Bob, and Tuggy, and his family.
x

Mehh?

I went dry skiing today, we went to some place in tunbridge wells. It was quite good.
SO cold though! and i haven't quite learned how to stop yet ;D
The slope was made up of these little like diamonds with fir on..it sounded like snow
and it was white
That was about the only link it had to a real ski slope :L
I sat with Wiles and Louise on the mini bus there and it was so quiet! Which was really odd considering how excited we were yesterday and during the day. It was so crammed though, we could hardly move.
When we got to the place we had to have our height and weight taken to find out which skii's to use and got our boots. We all looked like penguins waddling around the room and down to the slopes. Louise was convinced she'd fall over and took like 5 minutes longer then anybody else to get to the slopes..it was highly amusing ;D
The highest i got to on the slope was a quater of the way, which was pretty high and made you go quite fast, i had the hang of it at first but then Annibelle - the instructor - wanted us to learn the snow plough which is like how you stop the skii's.
And pretty much, i failed it.
I didn't fall over though, which was awesome.
Finally, we had to use the drag lift, which you basically put a stick between your legs (ooh-er) and get dragged up the slope..and i couldn't do that either! I was the only one who couldn't!
The first time i had to walk it and was like dragging the thing down..and everybody laughed at me :P
Then the session ended and we went home.

I just had a massive disscusion with Tuggy, about whether to go to this party on Saturday, I wouldn't mind going but he doesn't want to, and we got into this big thing about it. But then i decided i'd rather just be with him, so we're alright now, and im so happy we're fine now, i don't like him being upset with me. He's a very complex boy, but i wouldn't have him any other way. I ended up showing him the section i wrote about him on here yesterday..so i suppose this site isn't really just for me now?
But oh well, i love him, so he can see ;D
x

I love my boyfriend xD

I've had a really good day today :D
Which is quite shocking considering it was a dark, rainy, and dismal looking monday when i woke up. Which is never a great start, especially for me.
Recently, i've been so sick of school it's unreal, but today it was actually really good for like no particular reason, except my friends are absoloute gems!
Im going on a dry skiing thing after school tomorow with Louise and we were talking about it this morning and we both just got really excited and that i guess started the day off with me in a good mood, and then when i was in tutor, most of my friends had to go off for a science gcse except me and amy so we had a good ol' catch up which was needed i think because we were so distant 'cause we hadn't done much together recently. And we took a few pictures and that kept my mood happy :D
My first lesson was a breeze, we just watched a film, and thats always a good start to the day.
Me, Louise, and Tilbs had one of our amazing chats in textiles and it was really hysterical.
we were talking about baby names ;D and at break Louise, Wiles and me got excited about dry skiing..again.
So yeah, school was unusually good =)

Then after school, i got to see my wonderful boyfriend, who seriously means so much to me! He doesn't go to my school so i love meeting up with him just us two..which recently has been very often ;)
He had swimming last and so i hiked all the way to his house and when i got there the mood was quite low.
When i got upstairs he told me that his dog - Bob - Would have to be put down that day and his mum had been crying, and then he started crying!
I was so shocked, i hadn't seen that side of him before, he was always the strong one, holding me in his arms keeping me safe. It was so sad to see him so shaken up. We then decided to leave his house and head to mine so he could try and cheer up, and luckily it didn't take him too long to get his witty sense of humour i love, back again.

We just had an amazing evening really, we got to mine and went upstairs and he told me he always wanted to be with me, and how much he loved me. It was so cute. and we kissed for a bit..as you do ;) and i watched mama mia while he played his psp.
It may not sound very interesting, but tbh.. i love days like this, where we just relax and do sort of our own little thing in eachothers company, and when we just cuddle.
It's like..words don't need to be said. Everything just seems perfect.

He's just stopped texting me and has gone to bed bless him, i haven't stopped smiling or thinking about him, he told me in one text "i want to spend every second of my life with you.. i honestly feel that way (: I WUV you"

I love him
he's cute
and sweet
and fit ;)

That's it really,
It's midnight so im off to sleep
night x

the start

hello (:
i've decided with the start of a new year, it's the start of a new me. 2008 was a really good year for me, i met people that changed my life, and tbh, got away from people holding me back. This year is gonna be all about fun, and living life to the full, some of my friends recently have opened my eyes to the fact that you only live once, so im gonna make it memorable.

Well, now i've explained that, heya! i've decided a blog is a great way of keeping my memories fresh and a way to vent anger, and tbh, i just think they're really fun to have. The reason i started one is because i came across a friend of mines blog, she's an amazing writer and really got me into the whole idea of writing my own..and as im supposed to be doing coursework at the moment, I thought this would be the best time to start it ;D

I reckon this is gonna be a bit like a diary, and i'm not gonna be writing to make people entertained, this is pretty much for me.

well, i'll leave it as that for now
textiles is a'calling..lucky me..
x